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I am hungry for advice from those about handling midlife challenges, including existential reckonings, waning significance, noticing one’s neck resembling a melted timepiece along with a recent enthusiasm for A Place in the Sun. Most recently, I read Jamie Oliver’s words regarding his fiftieth birthday in an interview: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”

Initially, I wondered: doesn’t this conflict between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.

Perhaps you’re one too. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If so, you’re one of us, but it’s OK. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.